Human Bill Cipher x Depressed! Reader

Warning. Fluff and depression mentioned. Also slight mentions of self harm. Just in case trigger warning.
   

 You had lived the last few years of your life as a lie. All your emotions and feelings you locked away. All of your reactions and smiles where fake. Everything that your friends liked about you was a lie, your happiness, cheerfulness, all of it. Soon, you eventually came to the conclusion that it wasn't really their fault, for you have just become so used to hiding your true feelings that it was just natural. You eventually drifted away from your friends and family and moved away. It wasn't until you moved to Gravity Falls that things started to get better. Quite frankly you found most of the people here as idiots. Yet you're many years of quietly observing made it easy for you to pick up on some things. This town was full of secrets.
   One of which you happily discovered. A book. Yet not just any book, this book you found contained spells. At the time you didn't know this however. Yet, the downside was that it was in a different language. But having no real friends at the time and nothing better to do you researched. It took countless trips to many libraries (some more then 20 miles away) however you finally managed to translate it. It was an old form of Avestan, an olden language that originated in Afro-Eurasia. You were able to fully translate one spell in particular: 'Mind Lock'. This spells name sounded intimidating, yet despite its name it sounded pretty handy for a girl your your situation. It would lock away anything you wished so that no external or internal force would be able to see or know of it. Whatever internal force meant didn't really matter at the time. To you it would hide your sadness and insecurities. So, with that you cast it. You cast it on your past memories that had caused you to be like this. Although, that didn't mean you're current sadness would go away. It will only be masked.
   As time went by, the seasons changed and soon Summer would arrive. Going on your normal strolls in the forest, you came across a statue. It was of a triangle with a single eye. On his head was a top hat and his hand stretched out. Something told you to run, yet another part of you drew you to the hand. So, you grabbed it. Nothing really happened and you didn't really feel different. However, nights afterwards the triangle babe an to appear in your dreams, more and more frequently. It wasn't until you met the mystery twins, that he started talking to you. You befriended Dipper and Mabel quite easily. Dipper was easily attracted to your looks and smarts, while Mabel enjoyed your personality yet still sensed that something was wrong.
   Eventually Bill confronted you in your dream. He wanted you to free him from your mind. He tried explaining it by talking about different planes of existence and hence forth. But what you really got was that he was real and stuck in your mind. Going back to your spell book, you found another spell. 'Imaginary being'. This spell was meant to contour up a kids imaginary friend, however with a few alterations you figured it would work for Bill. Attempting it, it actually worked. However seeing his weakened state outside of your mind, you also conjured up a hollow body for him to possess while he slowly regained his strength. Bill, feeling obligated to repay you asked you for one thing that he could get you with his limited power. And that was him to become your friend. So the Triangle reluctantly did as so. After all, you brought him back to life and you'd probably die in about 90 years or so (which was not long for a demon).
   With everything that happened, the magic book seemed to come in quite useful. You started deciphering more spells and used them whenever needed. The one you used most often was still the 'Mind lock' spell and 'Closed Quarters'. Closed quarters put you and whoever you wished on a different plane of existence for a bit to discuss or do whatever without being seen. You often used these two spells with Mabel. She had seen threw your fake smiles and as well as becoming one of your closest friends she also became the person you would talk to. Of course this didn't go unnoticed by Bill or Dipper. Dipper however, curious, mind his own business. Bill on the other hand did not...
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  Three days have passed and you became terribly depressed. Which actually resulted in you... Well.... I shouldn't really say... You have gone to Mabel constantly and she was there to help you. Bill although knew something was wrong, was also quite jealous that you would only tell Mabel what was wrong and not him. So as one of your 'sessions' ended, he decided to confront Mabel.
   "HEY SHOOTING STAR" Bill yelled out of no where, freaking Mabel out. She looked up at Bill. His blonde shaggy hair was wild like usual. His usual outfit looked as new as ever, black slack and shoes, yellow tail coat, white undershirt and bow tie. He leaned on his came rather intimidatingly, his top hat leaning off of his head added un needed shadows to his already glaring face. "What is it Bill" Mabel asked a little hesitantly. Bill sensed her discomfort and sighed. He sat on her bed with his head resting in his hands. "What's wrong with (y/n)". Mabel looked at Bill unfazed. It wasn't the first time he had come over concerned about you. "Bill you know she doesn't want anyone to know.." With that he stood up abruptly. "I KNOW! THATS THE PROBLEM! Why doesn't she want me to KNOW!?" He said frustrated. He wasn't really mad at Mabel, he was more mad at himself. He sighed again and fell backwards onto Mabel's bed.
   He honestly hated the emotions that came with this human body. He loathed it. The worry, empathy and fear. It was all so.... Human. Which caused him to greatly care for you for some reason. So when you were like this he was worried about you. And due to that damned Mind Lock spell, he couldn't just see what was wrong, it didn't help either that you used it on Mabel after all of your 'sessions'.  Mabel sat next to Bill, and stared down at the ground sadly. Bill noticed this and slowly sat up himself, this was very uncharacteristic for her. " I'll tell you the gist of it Bill. But only because I'm really worried for (y/n) this time" she said in a hushed tone. Bill gulped, scared for the worst.
   "Have you ever heard of depression Bill" she asked. Bill has heard of it and knows that many people suffer from it, but what it was wasn't so clear for him. He assumed it made someone 'depressed' but that was all he really knew. That sort of minuscule stuff didn't really matter to him when he was his old self. "Well for someone who has it, it sometimes just occurs randomly. That's what happened to (y/n). It's a long period of very intense sorrow. It sometimes gets to the point where not only the mind is exhausted but the body is as well... It can lead to not eating or sleeping and sometimes even... Death" Bill stared wide eyed at Shooting Star. Does she mean (y/n) is going to... "Don't worry though she's not at that state yet but... She has harmed herself. Which never happened before". "What do you mean 'harmed herself'" Bill asked worriedly. "Well, I know she'll regret it eventually but her mind is in a state right now where it's controlling her like a puppet. It's using her negative emotions to hurt her physically". Bill stood up suddenly. Mabel following his lead. "Thank you shooting star" he quietly said with a tip of his hat. His face was covered in shadows and the only thing Mabel could see was a frown on his face when he left.
  Bill transported himself into your room. That's where you laid, staring blankly at the ceiling on your bed. He huffed and made his cane disappear. You didn't know he was there actually until you felt someone grab the blanket out from underneath you. You stared at him as he spread the blanket out on the floor. You questionably sat up, only to be picked up bridal style by him. "B-Bill what are you doing" but he just looked at you. You could only stare into his eyes. They were pooling with foreign thoughts and emotions that it made you speechless. He laid you on the blanket and rolled you up like a sushi. This caused a faint chuckle to come from your lips, which made him smile light heartedly. He then picked you up again and put you back on your bed. Thinking that was it, you were surprised as he climbed into bed next to you. He held your body close to him and you could hear his heart beat. This of course made you blush massively. "Don't leave me" he said in a whisper.
   You looked up at him, his eyes looking away from yours. "What do you mean Bill? Why would I ever leave you" you noticed a tear in his eye and it slowly fell down his face. You struggled to get you hands free from the blanket cocoon and whipped the tear away. He seemed slightly shocked that he was crying. For he had never done that before. He just held you closer. "I... I just don't ever want to lose you". You pulled away, and for one of those rare moments you smiled. You truly smiled. You wrapped your arms around his neck also hugging him in. "You won't lose me Bill. I will promise you that".